What up my fellow allergy sufferers? We know the secret trick to successfully popping your ears when they are clogged.
Which reminds me of this one time, when Sara and I were on a cruise…. I was congested as all fuck, and my ears hadn’t re-pressurized after being on the plane. There was excruciating pain running from inside my ear down my jaw line so I finally bit the bullet and went to pop my ears by plugging my nose and blowing. I blew a little too hard and I thought I literally popped my ear drum.
The pressure in my ear had subsided, but there was a stabbing pain in my ear. Since it was about 11pm, I figured I would just take some aspirin and try to sleep it off. I woke up around 2am with my ear still killing me so I took a q-tip and ran it around in immediate inside of my ear canal to see if anything was amiss… and it came out with blood on it. Here I am at 2 in the morning flipping a shit because I was bleeding from the ear. BLEEDING FROM THE FUCKING EAR! That is the type of shit you see in a movie when the psionic is melting peoples brains just by giving them a dirty look.
I took a piece of toilet paper (since it is softer than a q-tip and thus safer to stick in my bleeding ear. gogo 2am logic) and rolled it up to try and wick away the blood. Eventually it seems like my ear had stopped bleeding but it was ringing much louder than normal. Since the bleeding had stopped, I went back to bed and tried to sleep while continuing to freak out in silence.
In the morning I told my wife what had happened and we went to the infirmary. We figured it was one of those things that should get looked at… until the infirmary informed us that it would be a $350 copay to just see the doctor, and if they needed to do anything more than a basic once-over it would be even more money. Since I didn’t have health insurance at that point, I said fuck it.
A few days later I felt something sharp in my ear canal, and by jiggling my head around I managed to shake the foreign object out. It was the long term drainage tube that was in my ear due to my fucked up eustachian tubes. I had managed to force so much pressure through the tube when trying to equalize my ear that I blew that fucker out of my ear drum.